Tuesday morning found me rushing to get Cooper and myself ready for our first MOPS meeting. I was determined to be there on time, a skill I have always lacked but which is now magnified by ten thousand since I have an infant son. I knew I should have packed his diaper bag and picked out our clothes on Monday; in fact, I planned on doing just that. I actually planned on getting a lot accomplished on Monday. I stayed up late Sunday night making our daily dinner menu, my shopping list, and my to-do this week checklist, in a meager attempt to get myself organized, and yet, at the same time Monday night, I found myself having accomplished only one item on my checklist: cleaning out the refrigerator -- and that was the easiest task. I sat on the couch across from Scotty apologizing for my weak attempt at being a good housewife. It seems so easy for everyone else, I moaned.
We made it to MOPS in time to get Coop settled in the nursery and in time for me to visit with a few new friends. I found my table and took a seat next to Kristal. Of all the tables where I could have been placed, of all the women I could have sat by, this is the table I was assigned and the seat I chose. As we made small talk, I found out she has an 8 month old son, her only so far. I also found out she works from home. Still wounded from my inability to successfully navigate homemaking and motherhood, I questioned, "How in the world do you do it??" And I will not forget her answer: "It's very difficult. Some days I don't get anything done." I wanted to get up and hug her right there.
And then our speaker got up and started her message. One of her first lines? "Put away the measuring tape both for yourself and for your children." Oh dear heavens, did she listen in on my conversation with Scotty last night? Did someone give her a microscope into my thoughts the past few days?
She went on to talk about competition, how it leads to envy and discontentment, how it robs you of the joy Christ gives. I loved what she said in reference to mothering: "It's not gonna matter in 20 years!" She laughed and said now that she has grown children, no one ever stops and asks her, "How old were they when they were potty-trained?" or "When did your daughter first start to walk?" I imagine the same is true of her housekeeping skills. I'm sure no one wonders if her house were perfectly clean when her children were younger. But she did admit to always trying to keep up with what she thought she should be doing: "I should have homemade cookies ready for my kids when they get home from school"; "I should be able to keep JJ from making a mess"; "I should read to the kids every night." Her shoulds resonated within my heart. And then she told us to drop the word should from our vocabulary.
Um, right. How am I supposed to do that, when the "I shoulds" are chasing me at every corner?
Her solution is the recipe for contentment in motherhood, which goes a little something like this:
- 1 heaping cup of unconditional love, both for your children and for others
- 1/2 cup of positive and true self talk (how I talk to myself will dictate how I go through life, whether I am stressful or joyful... this reminded me of my dad's instructions to learn to preach to yourself)
- More than a pinch of gratitude (the more you say "Thank you," the happier you will find yourself. Even when you don't feel grateful, practice an attitude of gratitude.)
- 1 Tablespoon of celebrating the victory of other people's children (this takes practice! You may not feel it right away, but you will feel it. There is only one of your child, and he is a masterpiece of God. Take the competition out by being genuinely happy for each other's accomplishments)
- A generous heaping of God's grace (Grace: I am fully known, loved, forgiven, empowered, and pursued by God)
I sat in my chair and wanted to bawl with tears of joy. How did God know I would need to be here at this very moment?
I marveled at all the little details that worked together to get me to this place? A suggestion by an old friend that I should join MOPS; a name of a church to visit from my mother-in-law's friend's sister who lives in Colorado Springs; a website that had a list of women's ministry options, one of which was MOPS; an online registration form that had Derika's contact info; an email response inviting me to attend an upcoming picnic; welcoming hearts both at the picnic and afterwards. That is how I got here. It sounds so simple, but there is so much to it, including my shy, wavering heart that almost didn't make it to the picnic.
What if I wouldn't have made it here? What if Elizabeth would never have mentioned MOPS to me? What if Mom K would not have asked about churches and I never would have checked out Woodmen Valley Chapel? What if I wouldn't have emailed Derika or gone to the picnic? What if I wouldn't have sat next to Kristal or if they wouldn't have asked Becky to speak? I never would've heard my reminder to put away the measuring tape, and, perhaps, it would still be out and I would continue to miss out on the joy of motherhood that God has in store for me.
Thank you, Lord, for all of the divine appointments that led to this divine appointment. I needed it today.
No comments:
Post a Comment